Dreaming.

lol

2011-08-29T23:40:00.001+08:00

dreaming~~

lalala

~~splat

yay

2011-08-21T01:58:00.000+08:00

dreaming~~

last post was jul 2. now is aug 21, and 51 days just flew by (yes i looked at the calendar before typing the word 51, kinda forgot that july has 31 days)

heaving a heavy sigh. school started and now im bogged down by homework. and not just any kind of homework...lol drawing and 3d modelling and reading a film script. lol things that id find fun to do at leisure time bt not when im tied down by rc stuff.

sian. nothing to post. life is jus a drag for now. everything is as usual. ups and downs. change. sumhow im getting bored of change. so how do i unbore myself? i have no idea

kind of losing interest in somethings, gaining interest in others. and they keep fluctuating. one time i luv dance, one time i get bored of it. one time i luv filming, other time im sick and tired of it.

now in a stage of im bored of everything and trying to fine sumtin im not bored of.

ok i fell in luv wif film again bt i wanna write my own script.

rawr. gdnite world

~~splat

2 down

2011-07-02T23:44:00.000+08:00

dreaming~~

thats 2 down, and 1 more to go.

mite seem like im treating this like a checklist, but im not. just counting down the days of the calendar.

everything has been worthwhile, wish i can do more. and yea, there will be a lot more to come.

things will change. and they're starting to change already anyway

hah everytime i see the letters cha i think of my Charlie trainees.

its been another long journey..

Bravo, everything's a breeze, woohoo - 2009
Alpha, Ahana Ohana, boomz - 2010
The Way of Charlie - 2011

every year, (to me lol) think it gets better and better, closer towards what MOE wants from us, and slowly im finding ways to reach that goal while still remain the specialness for that platoon im taking.

Next year will be different again. i duno wad ill take, but i sure hope that i can still be there to help all cadets across the country and change rcy for the better.

Esther, Yvonne and Poh Boon sir, thanks so much for the opportunities. seriyously, (heheh) thank you!

Charlie Mentors, haha this is informal but youall better keep your 3 September free. Yes, after FDC, we has a meeting!!

Charlie trainees, see you on 23 July. hehe, u'll noe when the date arrives C;

and now, foc, dance, and 1 major event to go. nvr stop does it...

~~splat

Calling

2011-05-27T01:55:00.000+08:00

dreaming~~

not many will understand what i've just been through

this has nothing to do with whining abt workload or wtv not.

when u receive a calling frm God, its gonna be tough for me to let go.

bt slowly i started to accepted it, and realise that my life has to change for the betterment of me, my family, and my religion.

many won't understand, for they dun understand the islamic viewpoint. secularism has taken over the world, so if they cant accept it, why wld i?

bt i have. and i wish i didn make any promises before. but now that i had, id live up to them, leave once they're fulfilled.

i will disappoint many people, bt please understand, compared to humans, id rather not disappoint God.

so by August, id leave.

i really want to focus on humanitarian work (yea rc is staying) and my own community now. no more self.

~~splat

:)

2011-05-18T18:44:00.000+08:00

dreaming~~

finally getting a break from the world
nice cup of coffee in the airconditioned room of starbucks. at half price *beams*

past few days had been trying to find a new source of inspiration and spice up my life
apparently I've been stuck with red cross and dance and art so much that i've started to have a taste of mental block, like those writer's block that writers get. (not sure what im saying but i guess i get what i mean)
and i realise im becoming lazier to type capital Is

in any case ive finally found the THING which i wanna do during the holidays. i guess my only concern now would be money. money yes, i can't believe that my $700 by the govt is gone, and to think that i recieved it on May 1, and its May 18. must be all the art work that I did. spent a lot on getting materials, now left with a nice 2 digit number in my back account.

Despite not looking forward to the day when my school starts, thats the day when I will receive my scholarship funds for 2012. rah

(hah and now i wonder why i would still spend time here in starbucks. coz its worth it i guess? by far its the best place where i can work and process as much creativity as possible. comfortable too.

orite, time to clear the small things that i wish to clear asap, before i can do the work that i've always wanted to.

you know, sometimes i just gotta learn how to say no so that i can start working on things that the real me wants to do.

~~splat

Spider

2011-04-16T21:19:00.000+08:00

dreaming~~

the hell weeks are nearly over.

now jus gotta chiong for one more event and my final semester projects, hopefully all goes well and i dun drop in my GPA (that is ultra hard)

jus finished filming, 80% done. had a super super great time working wif my grp :D its amazing how the initial ideas sound so fuzzy and unimaginable, and now looking at the clips that we took today, the script coming to life..its jus so amazing. really hope everyone will enjoy our film :D

super duper thanks to my team, crazy bunch of duded who produce stuff like as if they're doraemons, and mark really has a hell lot of acting skills, esp being a hyperkid :D kudos to the actors too, awesome fast learners and really really great to work with!

xiexienimen!!!!! haha sumhow today really made my day, and the film made me kinda sentimental while we were packing the room back to its original state....come to think of it..its the last time we're working together as G1. 2 more weeks and thats the end of our Foundation Year in ADM. thats 1 year down, and 4 more years to go fr me in NTU, before becoming an official working adult.

srsly, its only as if yestd when i went thru ADM FOC. now im like choreographing for FOC 2011.

time flies. and fast.i gotta make decisions faster than ever.

meanwhile, chiong FD and 2D!

~~splat

in

2011-04-05T01:36:00.002+08:00

dreaming~~

pain

~~splat

2011-03-20T00:42:00.001+08:00

dreaming~~

it sux when u gotta choose sides

i wish to leave, even tho i noe i cant

i cant stand fights
don't blame me if i change

~~splat

2011-03-15T23:58:00.003+08:00

dreaming~~

with so much work

i have little time to spend my heart and soul into it

thinks that ive simply been underachieving. yea..im prolly just another average underachiever with life passing by me. nvr going to do sumtin big out there..not like my rj ex schlmates who're prolly doing so well...wad am i anw..nothing much bt an average person

~~splat

best

2011-02-27T00:19:00.002+08:00

dreaming~~

like i always tell RRO

we dun perform to win

we perform for the audience

perform to show who we are

to rock the stage

to prove to everyone what RRO is made up of (mai hum, oyster sauce, shells)

to push ourselves to a limit that we've never seen before

think im still dreaming bt having no idea how we got to finals

shortiez..u guys totally rocked it man..rili rili wished uall can get in too...i salute u guys *salute*

NBM, lets go and rock the auditorium!!!!!!! pwnz wif the luv for dance!!!

RRO, u guys jus rock rock rock rock rock!!! we met for the first time for real at scape / hall 15 on early jan..and here we are. we've grown so much..super proud of uall!!!

35 days...watch..just watch ;) if this is an opportunity, watch what we will make of it.

~~splat

needing sumbody

2011-02-18T22:55:00.003+08:00

dreaming~~

just needing sumone who dun mind me blabbering wtv that comes to my mind abt work coz i cant seem to

1. get the drive to work without sumone pushing me
2. think and get the ideas without sumone to talk to me or listen to me crazy thoughts
3. keep track of what i need to do without sumone arranging the things i need to do, yet not telling me what to do
4. work without sumone to remind me in the least nagging way bt in the sweetest way
5. get started without sumone encouraging me all the way

aaaa

~~splat

lots

2011-02-18T22:53:00.001+08:00

dreaming~~

too many things to do at once, too little time

~~splat

raaaahhh

2011-02-14T02:04:00.002+08:00

dreaming~~

can i jus say how much i love my group?

RRO ..u rock the world ;D

we got in to semis!!!!! raaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

~~splat

egg

2011-02-08T01:01:00.003+08:00

dreaming~~

i tink this is dam coool!!! mite wanna use it next time for other projects. and of course i luv the font. lalala

busy busy week ahead, and i love todays foundation lesson. walk arnd in little indea and noticing what we dun usually notice. its like meditating..looking at things in a different way, and drawing and drawing and drawing. for once im rili seeing the world differently and wish i had more time to just enjoy what the world has to offer..the visuals that they give are amazing!

haiz...one day one day..i shall do tis exercise again.

wish i brought my laptop along and took sum photos

ok 1.10am..time to sleep. wanna get the habit of slping earlier so that i can grow taller. as if!

~~splat

the stars and the moon

2011-02-05T01:40:00.002+08:00

dreaming~~

from day to night..same place

if someone were to take this photo, then it looks natural. but if i were to say that i took to photo myself..then ud call it vain. if i left the photobooth time 3 seconds and i was trying to capture myself in a candid post, then ud call it POSER

bt nah i jus wanna see the various effects thats all

starbucks environment is awesome. luv the atmosphere. realise that it cuts my bawling before working time by 70%. epic!

todae finally did a lot of stuff ba

shall work on more stuff to clear tmr :D

~~splat

:) :(

2011-02-04T02:28:00.003+08:00

dreaming~~

4 days of no blogging due to my streak of busyness and lack of sleep

there u go, a pic of me opening a can of coke tinking that itll spurt thanx to chien cham's idea of shaking it before opening. oh it didn burst..but his one did. lol fail

:) coz of

- the 18 hours of sleep i got, and the wah presentation which cleo said good...wonder if its rili good onot..shall wait for marks and see

- RRO (less than 3!!)

:( coz of

- the lost of my foundation drawing book : $$ to buy a new foundation book

- more work overdue

- lost 1 day due to me trying to do work but cant

- knowing that despite the many praises that people give, i keep looking at the flaws i have and knowing that despite the many ppl ive raised, there exist the people ive destroyed who can never be stitched ever again.

the crave to be perfect...hadi ull never be perfect.

but at least that will remind u wad to do n wad not to do.

i jus hope that even if the scars will never be stitched, it will at least be healed, not perfectly, but healed all the same. and most imptly

it will be the last scar i wound. forever.

I'm deeply sorry.

~~splat

FIGHTING

2011-01-30T00:53:00.001+08:00

dreaming~~

RRO (without ellery :S)

no time to blog today..bt luv today. LUV IT SO MUCH

RRO FIGHTING!!!!!!!

~~splat

2 more days!

2011-01-29T02:49:00.000+08:00

dreaming~~

MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

yea thats my decent hair. wait till i spike it. went for rro dude cut hair session, all thanks to zhongru the official hairstylist!! brudder bonding

and yea..2 more days till the auditions..rah scared yet excited yet confident yet still not confident..nooo too much mixed feelings! no matter..tmr's chionging session will help the fear go away

cant believe i slept till 1pm..nearly missed friday prayers..lucky i didn.

ah yes ive been meaning to tok abt this..i took 2 taxi rides this month and both initiated a conversation with me. wa going ntu..study wad. and the questions are the same all the time. sometimes i pity them for like not having the same ppl to tok when they driving..then again they get to noe all sorts of people and increase their general knowledge? get latest news and gossips? lol i duno..its just something that came across my mind..

to be frank all i wanted was to sit at the back of the taxi, enjoy the aircon and peace and quiet for a while, listen to music or watch how i met your mother on my laptop..rather than entertain their questions..bt i feel bad if i choose to ignore them so...here we go again.

but sumhow near the end of the conversation i sumhow get sum enlightenment abt certain issues. i forgot wad i realised during my first cab conversation, but in the 2nd one i realised how much further i am from God than before (yea the driver is a muslim..oh he thought i was a chinese..but that later on). and i jus wondered how id react if my father was toking to me abt such issues.

and to think my father is a part time taxi driver too..wonder if he do such talks too..

oh oh the chinese thingy. he asked me "so when's your chinese new year"

"er..im malay"

"what"

"melayu" (malay)

"OH KAU MELAYU EH" (omg ur malay!!!)

LOL

(wonders why i choose to end this blog post with that funny incident rather than the more serious issues that i discussed above. am i trying to run away frm the true reality of this world? or maybe i jus want to live life happily..world without worries? or mebe im jus sleep coz its 2:54am.)

~~splat

RRO ftw!

2011-01-28T01:36:00.003+08:00

dreaming~~

145am...im yawning. in my RJ shirt..ok its morrison even tho im frm bayley bt wtheck..and i rili wonder why i got a morrison shirt coz hanif is from moor so...omg is it from the girl who came over the other night????

im joking la..lol. just too caught up with barney stinson's awesomeness.

Went really well today..RRO nailed it woooooo!!!! super super nervous at first after seeing the awesomeness form the first 2 grps bt we put up a super awesome show and vuola super super proud of my grp!!! dun wanna say anyting else here coz audition is the real thing but personally, i feel that after going thru this its as if we just finished a major obstacle. after this, we can just easily face the judges and put out 10000% with super ease!!

LUV YOU OYSTERS!! FIGHTING ALL THE WAY!!! SUNDAY IS THE DAY!!!

STIKE A POSE

ah yes..the 3D teacher who took over is great too! diffrent than suresh but hes definitely more organized and knows what he wan us to learn too..of course that means we're doomed with more projects than before...my to do list is piling up more and more..i really gotta make the decision super soon.

and i didn buy my shoes!!! :( BUY TOMORROW

2 more intense days and WAAAHAHAHA

why does it seem that i got sumtin else to say...oh ya

was weird how today felt so ..wanted.

~~splat

RRO

2011-01-27T01:47:00.004+08:00

dreaming~~

my beloved timetable, same as last semester. rawr. 3 teachers changed tho..miss the previous ones, but so far everyones ok..left with 3D teacher tomorrow..wonder how he is like. i heard hes a devil..we'll see.

Tmr showcase RRO to MJ. feelings? ahaha i haf no idea...confident? but know that we still got a lot to do..well considering that we did improve a LOT over the past month and we still have Fri and Sat to work on our choreo, actually its not too bad. and most imptly im rili rili rili proud of all the RRO members, everyone improved so much and wanna chiong and chiong! :D

(plays emo yet filled wif hope music)

Alvin Benjamin Ellery Louise Ross Shuhan Zhong Ru, you oysters are amazing people man!!! <3

hahaha i see the word splat..SPLAT

ok time to go and SLEEP..tmrs a big day!!! Coz im gonna.....BUY SHOES!!! my shoes dieded..:( too much dancing..well wadyu expect, its a school shoe haha
~~splat

2am

2011-01-26T01:58:00.003+08:00

dreaming~~

maybe im acting cute, maybe im not. wtv, this is my blog :P

2am..im back home eating strawberry cookies. 4D ..can't help noticing how voldemort has been attempting to change his style after receiving negative comments from us through the teacher evaluation survey form that we did last month..wow didn noe he rili tok the comments seriously...ok we were serious about it. anw our first assignment is up...documentary...still thinking what id do. grandma, or Cindy Sherman inspiration?

nomnomnom. one more day of dancing before showcase to mj..jus tinking abt it give me the chills..in front of everyone leh. grah...hope all goes well. no matter..if screw up that one, we will NEVER screw up for auditions. coz RRO fighting!!!

still got few more things to do...looking forward to waking up late tmr hehe...schl start 130 lalala...first WAH lecture..and first WAH presentation assignment due next week wed. gosh... everything starting to pile up liao.

waiting for CNY..2 days of break to clear up everything that i owe

~~splat

back

2011-01-25T02:46:00.002+08:00

dreaming~~

back at ADM, staying over coz dance trng ends late (1am.) finally everything is confirmed and everyone got the gist of it. feels super awesome..really hope that my group can get somewhere :) Most of us dance coz its fun to dance..a hobby passion kinda thing, so trng sessions are always awesome!

Oh i put that photo up just to show myself 10 yrs down the road how i looked like at 2:55am in ADM. who knows i mite wanna show this to my students in the future..the fun life of being in uni, esp adm. haha

lots of work to be done bt will get them done ba

~~splat

no more brain juice

2011-01-11T21:39:00.000+08:00

dreaming~~

tired. rili dead tired. brain juice all gone

~~splat

2011-01-10T23:24:00.001+08:00

dreaming~~

for the first time in my whole life

im braindead..no brain juices. all dried up. or perhaps im not looking deep enuff...

my ideas are getting stupider and lamer. fml

~~splat

new year

2011-01-03T00:21:00.001+08:00

dreaming~~

oh yay its the new year. time for me to sleep.

its been days since i had proper sleep

~~splat

sickling

2010-12-27T02:38:00.002+08:00

dreaming~~

ive been sick and sick and sick
on and off
first was the headache
then the slight on and off fever
then the flu
then the searing sorethroat
then the painful ulcers
then the phlegm that goes to my eyes when i sleep (which is dam sick when i try to open my eyes)
and now the cough

i shall promise to live a healthy diet in the coming week (gosh no...not with soul funky chalet :S)

jus finished my motivational posters (tanx all who helped!!! wheee) and sent all emails i need

now to get one more person's contact...grah impre impre impre ftw

jus cleaned up my space (i duno why i mentioned this bt i mus coz its an achievement! wooo!)

need to repear my nanopod

jem being a tard again

my mouse aint working. uh nooo! tablet coming through

see my eyes starting to get the weird icky thingies again..nooo!

oo 245am

and i still have sumtin else to do:
choreo
revamp of an ubercool website which i shall dutifully start tmr once i get my stuff organized
that fa poster
that thingy that ambrose sir was toking to me about (ambrose sir.....*wif a chien cham voice* if you happen to see this, you know that you owe me an email on RCK riiiite)
ah and of course cant wait for vi retreat..to clear everything that i need to clear...wheres my BIG TINY THICK BOOK OF WONDERS...

oh crap now i gotta dig again

itch itch

missing alpha's hawtness
tink i went out too much past few days
gotta finish my lost symbol book.

this post is terribly random

~~splat

RCYC 2010

2010-12-21T20:11:00.004+08:00

dreaming~~

Among the many HQ events that i went through since 2006, the many ULPs, VIPs and the recent UIP, I have never ever felt so much emotions before, or cried on the day when we part with the students that we groomed over the days.

for the recent RCYC 2010, i did..for the very first time.

wah..rili felt satisfied..lots of learning pts, and most imptly i learnt a great deal from my juniors. like totally a new light shining and adding in sumtin new to my skill sets.

to all alpha cadets, super super proud of all of you guys!! All of you knew that winning isn't everything, pushed your ownself beyond your limit and stepped up to become better people as a team and as a division. WELL done!!!

to all alpha mentors, super super super proud of all of you too!! Stepped up the game, had the same mindset and being so patient with us oldies :P and of course, all of you surprised us!! srsly srsly win!! fist to chest x 10

to my dearest partner and boss, daphne and ambrose, thank you sooo much for everyting that uve done to push alpha all the way!!! even tho we're new to this, we still pulled thru!!!! Raaah gonna miss those times man!!!

this will definitely linger in my mind for a very long time (till i die. see, its less cheesy then to say 4eva)

Wasay you saaay i say!!! HAWT

~~splat

those 6 hours

2010-12-10T04:36:00.003+08:00

dreaming~~

wandering in 430am land in adm
getting sleepier and sleepier
wonders why i like to keep my schedules packed
and when the time comes, i wish i didn sign up for anything
sleeping till 1pm is bliss
but after you take a shower
u regret sleeping till 1pm
wishing that u had woken up at 7, and made use of the 6 hours wisely.

everytime when i see 7am, i feel that my body deserves to rest
once i see 1pm, i feel like an idiot for wasting my life
u can do so much in 6 hours.
other than letting ur body rest.

haiz.

wondering if its nette or ima. rio is definitely not here.
theres no sadness or emptiness. this is more of..sian. like...life as usual kind of feeling? wishing that time would stop not becoz its getting too hectic, but wishing that the drive i have for life starts coming back to me

right now theres a lot to do, wanna do them but bogged down by other more-important-things to do, so you get that sian feeling.

as much as i love creating systems
i hate to follow them
even if i do, i get bored of them sooner or later
and wanna change the system again

is this what they always say: humans will never be satisfied?

oh my scanning is done. time to pack up.

lets see my schedule
VIP and mugging for the next 3 days
WAH on monday, dance on monday, father's bdae on monday
tue: filming for RCYC and completion of 4D
wed: 4D submission, more filming, pack bag
thur: receive foreign delegates,meeting for EHL (oooo awesome course) and rcyc
fri-monday: rcyc
wed: meeting in evening
thur: relax
sat is christmas
so i have a lot more days before i get to relax on 21 and 24 and 25 dec
coz got chalet on the week after.

big sigh.

i guess i wun sigh when the events come. but i sigh when i start reflecting @ 4am on the busy schedule ahead.

i tink its time to sleep
~~splat

loves UIP

2010-11-30T18:29:00.003+08:00

dreaming~~

Dream came true in the past month
2 more weeks to persevere before finally released from all woes of uni work.
then can finally start some action without guilt or worry.

ok bt its gonna be a super hectic "break" with rc and dance. :S

big heart to uip trainees and trainers:D

~~splat

waving

2010-11-10T01:04:00.001+08:00

dreaming~~

Print Making. fun to play around

My hat combo with clara. supposed to be magical. but captured by photo looks wrong lol..love my hair lidat :D

Woo super senior!! love u guys man! awesome battle :D

sigh. help

~~splat

left me thinking

2010-11-09T00:58:00.002+08:00

dreaming~~

I said before that my purpose in life is to see people smile and make them smile if they aren't. smile for good reason. good referring to what i see as good values.

have I been doing so?

Desperately need someone to talk to, but then again, I'm very choosy when choosing who to talk to. Sorry if i reject you, but if i do, its not that I don't like you. its becoz I know that you will be really shocked by what I will say,and you won't accept what I say, and I don't want you to be.

~~splat

failure

2010-11-07T01:47:00.003+08:00

dreaming~~

when you think you've fallen

you'll rise again someday

but the scars will stay

till the end of your stay

here, on earth, your burden

eyes rolling.

hmm it came back to me that i did some mistake today..major..bt sumhow im gonna turn it into a great asset and make a comeback next week. thanks a lot CC!!!

and i'm super influenced by how ppl feel. ESFP ah? *shrugs*

tmr: video for 4D, research and draw for FD, watch movie, dance at hall 16, go home by 10..pls pls i wanna go home for once and slp on a Sunday Nite and slp tite

but will leave by 1030 so that can go home by 12am and slp...snore

~~splat

Test

2010-11-04T01:13:00.001+08:00

dreaming~~

whee. facebook app

~~splat

Fat

2010-11-04T00:30:00.003+08:00

dreaming~~

Finally, WAH is over. This is what happens when you don't sleep the whole night and chiong a presentation worth 25% of your grade:

dead tired. at least i managed to finish my craft of writing essay today, skipped lecture :P LOVE my assignment partner, LINH!! omg ur frkng awesome la you just know how i think when we wrote that essay man! hi fives!

Batt nearly died so couldn't take more photos of Soul Funky training, but training was dope, had a trial battle..was dam fun..altho we sucked coz not enuff training :P woo can't wait for next Monday man, Zoo in the morning for foundation drawing, rush back to school to do print making for 2D lesson, and end off with SF Dance Battle. awesome day to look forward to, apart form all the rushing and stuff.

Wooo Dance dance dance coming up!

Oh and my presentation..bleh..cld have been so much better, i forgot wad i placed in my slides and i had too much content to cover in only 15 minutes, so I had to rush a lot of stuff, got a bit gabra towards the end. but oh well, its over! and IRISH CHOCOLATE ROX shall buy agian tmr...realised these days that ive been spending a lot of money on food :S

Dont wanna get fat.

~~splat

dance

2010-11-02T00:42:00.002+08:00

dreaming~~

Super Senior!!!!! First time i felt super great dancing to funk songs, starting to really feel the music..like the first time i started learning how to bounce, felt the groove in hip hop, and first time i felt the steps for salsa.

Took very long but finally the long awaited feel for funk is over..WOOOO go funk!!!! and loving my group very much XD

Gonna pwn the stage next monday during the Soul Funky end of sem battle man!

Here's the place where I did print making. sample of my work can be found on facebook. super fun thing to do, next week doing more..will upload more photos. wondering how I'm gonna get from Mandai zoo to NTU in 1 hour, apart from taxi. and bring my laptop plus clothes for dancing. rah

tmr staying in ADM again to chion WAH..shall watch a video on early renaissance before sleeping..still feeling wide awake.

must remember to do something i will never dare to do tomorrow in the mrt: take video wif my laptop open. wonder what people are gonna say about me. mus bring my shades tmr. :P

must learn how to dance the tango one day. parachute MV got the great couple who dance super super zhaily.

~~splat

roundabout

2010-10-31T18:28:00.003+08:00

dreaming~~

the first time i opened this blog..its called dreamsofdrill

that was in 2005.

cant believe that 5 years down the road, I wld be using the same theme. of course..its a different dream altogether. heh

~~splat

hmm

2010-10-31T14:14:00.001+08:00

waiting~~

loving it

~~washes paint

yawn

2010-10-26T23:24:00.001+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

like. tired. really tired.

~~And it lands softly on the warm earthly soil

ooo

2010-10-15T01:40:00.001+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

i miss RI. went back today to get my mac back from joel. been a long time since i went there. hmm..not that long lol. last time was POC. 17 sept if im not wrong. now is 12 oct. wa 1 month. haiz

~~And it lands softly on the warm earthly soil

loves

2010-10-06T03:47:00.002+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

I love ADM. i love camping in ADM. i love camping in 4D lab in ADM

i love camping in 4D lab in ADM coz the 17 inch mac rox!

bt i love camping in ADM coz of my ultra loving ADM frenx :D

~~And it lands softly on the warm earthly soil

uh

2010-09-29T17:39:00.003+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

chicken cutlet rice is nice
6 more mins and i haf to zao for dance
wish i can stay longer in library sia, so shiok ..computer nvr lag, nice lighting and aircon
now got assignment for creative writing
its already my 4th wk in uni and lifes been awesomely awesome :D
next wk mus die die stay over one day in adm..shioky
cant wait for tmr mj dance

oh yea tanx for the convo last nite. suddenly the flame in me became a huge wildfire. wooo ching arh!

~~And it lands softly on the warm earthly soil

my macbook fails

2010-09-28T17:30:00.002+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

rawr credit card dun work
gotta wait for another 3 days again..hope can get it by friday lalala

ah wells now finishing up work

contemp dance was uber nice

finally got into a hip hop dance cca

finally realised that im an idiot :D

and going stayover in uni again tonite. hoorah!

~~And it lands softly on the warm earthly soil

train is coming train is coming train is comiiiiing

2010-09-26T01:18:00.004+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

wonder what i would have done if i were sitting at the "pregnant" seat.

can't help but notice the comments that people have for this vid.

love your ride! ting ting!

~~And it lands softly on the warm earthly soil

poc

2010-09-25T02:05:00.002+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

i miss the days when i was there

knowing what i was doing was in line with wad should be done

doing them without fear of people saying what im doing is wrong

or cant be done

guided by people who understands and have the same goal and mindset as me

inspiring people to become greater people than me in time to come

teaching, leading and serving them

knowing that what im doing is as complete as i can make it to be,

and always free to change for the betterment of everyone

its gone now. life is much tougher here. red tape everywhere. people saying no for pointless reasons. pointless coz they don't put in effort to meet up and solve the gaps between the problems. no effort to communicate and unite in order to serve the same purpose. hah...unity..one of the rc values. oh yea, no wonder. they think that rcv is useless, its clearly portrayed in the way they work eh?

so much for us being in rcy anyway.

now that im looking forward, its definitely an unknown journey. who will support u? who will agree with u? i dun care abt positions, all i care abt is the journey of 4-5 yrs that every rcy cadet deserves to have. and yet theres so much that cant be done even when the motive is so pure of selfish strings, of vested interests. I swear its pure. I swear.

Miss it. Miss it so much. Had to leave but i really miss it.

They're still sitting there on my table. B57's, B58's B59's and the guest book. a huge reminder of what a VI is really here for. a very huge reminder of my purpose here. and no i dun just want to see the greatness in just one unit. it should be in all. everyone deserves the greatest experience that they can ever have.

I guess I'll just have to find another way. (oo i already thought of one)

hearing rumours here and there about whats going on from the chapter I just left. I can't make any stand or judgement, coz I'm not there to be there for them or to help them anymore. it has now a new order of leaders, ready to give their best on what they feel is best. But whatever the case, this is something for them, and perhaps everyone.

Jean Henri Dunant would have never ever shaped the essence and spirit of the World Wide Red Cross Movement, without understanding 7 things, out of which were 2:

Impartiality. He doesn't doubt anyone based on who they are. He just wishes to help

Unity. He understood the power of a team of people with different strengths and believes, who put their own interests aside for a common purpose: Humanity. He got people of all sorts, from villagers to nurses to doctors, ignoring their background, to save the lives of those who were tormented by the martyrdom of war. He needed everyone, to achieve something great.

To many, these 2 values might seem straightforward, simple and common sensical. Yes they are, but not many people have truly understood the meaning and power of these 2 values when leading or when they're part of a team. I'm still learning, but through the past 9 years, they're probably the most valuable key lesson points which will remain stuck in my head in everywhere I go and everywhere I work.

Nothing can beat the power of impartiality and unity. True that when you use this but others don't, its seems impossible to even continue to stick with these values. It seems like there's just no point.

But really, wouldn't it be better to start with yourself first rather than not start at all?

*shrugs*

I'm not sure of the feeling...can't really recall how I felt at POC.

mixture of sadness and something else? not so sure. planned well definitely. but there seems to be a tinge of regret. something unexplainable that will happen. Something's really wrong.

nvm..things will work out.

I can't thank how much I really really appreciate the gifts from everyone, they're all too awesome compared to what I've done for you guys :D Thanks so muchy!!!!

wished I had talked with everyone, from the sec 1s to sec 4s, after POC, but didn get the chance. Theres just that something that I wish to say to all of them. haiz..see how.

may the path still shines bright for them :)

oh yea, feel free to call me back to help uall do some lessons on MOI or LP or RCV or stuff. im officially ur VAL or the next 3 yrs after all :P depends on my uni schedule..

ah...and ADM RoX to the WIN MAX WOOT

Oh, and I cant say how much i really truly owe to RC for saving me with my first 25% presentation in my uni. Worked 1 day before the day of presentation, didnt sleep, jus chiong all the way, and when it was my turn to present (was supposed to do the last part) I gave it as if i was giving a normal lesson (normal as in my type of normal, if u get wad i mean :P) during RC trainings.

Teacher loved it! and my frend was like..wakao u present ah..got ____(guess the word urself or u can find me on msn lol)__ (okaaaaay i shall stop bragging but nvm :P)

really..RC is truly the place where u develop man. ull understand it fully when u get out of sec school. then ull either love it, or regret it.

ur choice.

haiz..missing those days

~~And it lands softly on the warm earthly soil

yawn

2010-09-12T22:48:00.002+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

hari raya over...fun..last yr didn celebrate coz my grandma went into hospital

this yr she staying at my house so we managed to go out and visit relatives since got a caregiver to take care of her while we're out

now i got 4 more drawings to do by tonite..shall chiong now :(

todae was not bad..taught tuition, then go visit Zul's house wif my NS frens..will be a long time b4 we meet up again since everyone schooling and sum going overseas..ooo i mus say that the food was AWESOME esp the cake rice..super super super soft and NICE...

then went to artfren at 6pm and it was closed (F!!!) so bought everyting at popular instead..speng 97 bucks...OUCH tanx la ADM tanx hahaha shld haf brought popular card then i get $9.70 discount..thats a lotta money dang...

tanx to CC who helped me shopped wif his pro intuitive shopping mind lol...went to NLB to borrow history of art book, went up and saw this uber cool exhibition on the arabs which rili amazed me..didn noe singapore had such a large variety of people wif super cool background..wonder where my ancestors came frm hmmm

went to eat at this foodcourt outside NLB..prata there is superb..shall bring ppl there one day after shopping at bugis street or go NLB or sumtin

took a bus ride back home while discussing UIP and had to withstand this buddhist chanting in the bus..sum guy was listening to it on an mp3 player and it was happily seeping into the bus environment and as much as i respect ppl's religion, i srsly cant stand the chant...makes me restless and wanna ..like..go sumwhere else..not that i dun like it la...its jus super wrong timing lol

raahh i haf these 4 questions that i set for myself 3 days ago for this blogpost..need to answer them rawr

wad life lesson did u learn today?

knowing our roots is so important...i duno why after that exhibition i heard this interview that toks abt how this singaporean lady is toking abt how she didn noe that her roots went all the way back to the arab muslims in Oman, and the fact that she rili wanna find out abt her roots, go tok to her grandmother living in johore to find out abt her past and wanting to go back Oman someday to find her relatives..and questioning..what makes me, me?

Doesnt it get you thinking, what really defines you as you? Your name? your history? your parents? your personality? your hight weight? characterstics of your face? Or how people perceive you?

What makes you..you? hmm

wad u did that u felt great?

tuition. things going well and my tutees are really going all out for the final lap b4 PSLE..really scary coz they're my firt tutees but i feel really proud that they really showing that they want the marks during the tuition i gave them..really really want them to get As :D

wad dyu wanna change urself tmr..small mini mission

Draw better! hahahahahahhah and stop procrastinating any longer. will draw once everyday. Rawr!

did u make anyone smile and why/why not?

My tutees, my Ns frens, and CC. today i was myself. yay. and no tinge of emo feelings at all. double yay!

TIME TO CHIONG MY DRAWINGSSSS!

~~And it lands softly on the warm earthly soil

XD

2010-09-06T22:35:00.003+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

1st day of schl was nice. can feel the stress already

foundation drawing was win..started right away wif measured drawing..and got my 1st homework due next wk. dots..im gonna practice man...totally got owned by my sucky drawing

2D teacher was super naggy bt i guess the fun part comes in later when we get to do stuff like silkscreen and digital art. woo!

tmr 4D starts at 1330...yay slp at home. heard 4D is on film and photography..yayness!

breakfast at burgerking today..win. feels awesome..lala

tmr mus rmbr to make my student pass

~~And it lands softly on the warm earthly soil

rawr

2010-09-05T15:43:00.001+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

rawr yay cleaned up my space

~~And it lands softly on the warm earthly soil

spinning

2010-08-31T00:29:00.002+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

head spinning..hopefully one more day of rest will cure the fever

gotta slp soon

wondering why policy making and on-the-ground work are not part of a singular job.

why must 2 parties take care of these 2 jobscopes separately, when they're so closely related.

i cant say how much the drive to change rcy is rili affected by the passion i have as a vi when im rili on the ground facing cadets everyday, to see wad problems they rili face and how these problems are affected by the policies made at the national level.

tink its v clear.

i dearly miss my unit :(

well, do they wan me back in the first place?

~~And it lands softly on the soft earthly soil

fever

2010-08-30T21:32:00.002+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

is stomach flu the condition whereby ur tummy feels awfully weird and u keep burping?

first time fever where i had 2 blankets and i wear a jacket and i still feel uber cold. ended up slping in the study room wif no fan on the floor

~~And it lands softly on the soft earthly soil

admit

2010-08-27T23:03:00.002+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

i admit i suck coz im too emotional and i cant deal with it and i fail to live up to my motto of making everyone i serve happy, instead i make them sad and shunned away.

dun accept my apology if u noe it cant be accepted. if i suck say i suck.

best i jus stay in this position anw..away frm everything. things will be better that way anw. shrugs. and im not whining or mourning or wtv. now its pretty logical. my mind is tinking logically.

oh todae was fun.

bought 25 bucks of stuff from red cross shop...cant believe the stuff u can find there...sure wanna bring more ppl there sum other day.

then went geylang, finally bought the sleeveless black shirt i wanted

and headed to HQ too bad susan wasnt there..else CC can destroy her piggies

surprised to meet wabbit and zhi jie collecting uniform parts lol

felt super shiok wif the UIP plan, tanx to to CC and calvin's awesmeness

Australian welcome ceremony was awesome..rili rili awesome, couldn't imagine how a "formal" ceremony turned out into a super fun dance all out party free for all mingling kind of event. rili mus tank the secretary general to step in and say in most informally, LETS EAT

and frm there i took the cue to be the fun fun lets party emcee and heck the formality. awesome...true leadership there, knowing what's best for the guests..even the teachers were happy that we took this route :D

all the australian ppl were so nice, esp the kids, super outgoing and boy they love dancing!!! haha thanks to their asst teacher, (cant believe his age is the same as mine) super into dancing too..awesome awesome!!!!

can say todae was worth it :D haha shall try to not miss any international opportunities XD

~~And it lands softly on the soft earthly soil

lifted spirits

2010-08-26T22:35:00.002+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

as usual, dance can do anything to lift my spirits

so glad that david wanted to learn dance, and deo bugged me to go teach since i made a promise to teach dance

awesome awesome, felt like wanna go pwn in dance all over..choreographed sumtin uber nice jus now within minutes tanx to david's uber proness XD

yayism!

tmr shopping lalala and emceeing for australian kids rc thingay. rawr. and finally got my final schedule! woooooo Friday no school!!

but crazy week lor. lets see..and lol i mite refer to this blogpost every now and then to see wad time i need to go to schl. bleh

next wk wed report to adm at 130pm for orientation day. duno if wanna go to the library orientation for fun

ok my lessons are:

Monday

0830-1230: Foundation Drawing I

1330-1730: 2D Design and Colour Workshop I

Tuesday

1330-1730: 4D Design and Time Workshop I

Wednesday

0900-1030: Western Art History I

1330-1530: Western Art History I

1530-1630: Western Art History I (ZOMG whole day!)

Thursday

0830-1030: The Craft of Writing

1330-1730: 3D Design and Volume Workshop

Friday

NO LESSON!

Zomg art for life!

~~And it lands softly on the soft earthly soil

rest

2010-08-25T23:28:00.003+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

2dae was rest day

slp and slack and OMG i shall start chionging project runway again while waiting to render these videos.

not talking for a while makes it so weird

shall slp at 12am for once. and run the comp.

man are born selfish. its part of human nature. its rare that we find ppl who gives from the heart. wanna noe why?

coz its common to see ppl who take and abuse those who give from the heart.

thats why no one dares to be the rare one. tough luck, humans :)

~~And it lands softly on the soft earthly soil

thirsty day

2010-08-25T00:48:00.002+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

Starburst outing wooo!

cycle and pasir ris playground and search for crabs and started the i-cant-stand-the-sun club and swing-makes-me-puke club and kbox win!!!!!

swear im gonna go to kbox and marina square, nas say that place got free flow of drinks and sakura free flow of buffet..omg win foood!!! plus awesome music and sound system and win!!!

oh yea nearly died of thirst thanks to super cycling exercise and heat waves and my epic laughing and throat dying and arm aching tanx to chien cham's crazy gym work out IT STILL ACHES OK U CHAMMY

tmr slack. tuition and chiong video and work. thursday still wondering if i shld dance. friday all planned out nicely. sat full day course. sunday, totally forgot wad i have in the aftnn...rah. and monday. SCHOOL

~~And it lands softly on the soft earthly soil

clothes

2010-08-24T00:26:00.002+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

those cool dominos dropped just like that.

oh todae was cool! from 6-9, i was having a super screwed stomache ache

so nearly wanted to cancel my so called helping wif rc hq carrying the clothes for fund raising at rc shop

then khairul called me say WOi where are u

and i said oh crap only u there ah ok i shall come now

and we went wif a bunch of other rc hq ppl to go to this place called MACYs or sumtin

and we had to transport over 500 bags of clothes donated to RC campsite

Super super super super SHAG coz we were fasting and we were the only 2 guys among the 6 ppl who came, bt luckily the driver was a guy too! and 1 of the women were strong so yay! and the other females were helping to pack the bags nicely so everyone was working together! yay

bt the nicest part of the whole thing is

the clothes are worth $40+ - $100 bucks. and they're the only ones arnd. theres only 1 copy of that design. and its gonna be CHEAP!!! and its from the US.

RAWR this friday i wanna buy!!!

~~And it lands softly on the soft earthly soil

yum

2010-08-23T00:23:00.001+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

2dae was rili relaxing

tuition first..super intensive

then step up 3

then gym wif chien cham..tanx a lot dude..my shoulders hurt like shit now haha

and back home eat paste for break fast

then back at this com

sumhow i need to calm myself more when i teach my brother

tink its coz he always comes at the time when im like indulging myself with my comp, and i get super irritated when that happens. bleh.

shall set aside 1 hr every sunday to teach him frm now on, a goal for me. rawr.

~~And it lands softly on the soft earthly soil

i am not emo. dots. lol

2010-08-22T01:29:00.002+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

Greatly appreciate what they're doing

yet it still does not change the fact that there are people who think i'm doing all this for selfish reasons, i'm controlling minds of others, that what i think is right is actually not.

and perhaps..it mite be true. that wad i'm doing may not be right or beneficial for any of them. wun help them in anyway. may make things worse in the long run.

just like carcinogens, anyting ur using..may haf negative side effects in the long run.

and mebe im jus one of these cancerous-causing products that people easily believe and use(follow).

well, as much as these products cant prevent themselves from being utilised, i can.

all the more, ive done nothing good, and only made things worse. mite as well prevent all these misfortunes from continuing. and they will lead a better life.

i'm deeply sorry for everything ive done for the past 5 years. nothing can change wads past. but at least u can turn everything back in the future.

So i end here. and move elsewhere. where i can find myself useful.

"i live for others to be happy. if they aren't, i find other others." and i'll live by that.

thanks for the wake up call :)

~~And it lands softly on the soft earthly soil

O,O

2010-08-21T18:03:00.004+08:00

Drifting gently in space~~

New look!!!!!!!

i wan my final house to have these color schemes in my bedroom, wif wooden door wooden floor and and no lights on the ceiling, only table lamps. and textured walls and smell of of of coffee/starbucks. OMG instant win!!!

realised i like super down to earth colors which are homely and brightdark.

ah and definitely a room wif black white and tinges of warm colors. black white ftw!

~~And it lands softly on the soft earthly soil

bored

2010-08-19T23:11:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

im bored and sian

no time

2010-08-14T21:38:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

wooo jus came back from soul funky camp yestd (dance camp, pop lock)

totally an eye opener for me in terms of dance, now im totally interested to learn the techniques and look up the history of dance and stuff...and i cant believe that i learnt salsa and i totally enjoyed it :D haha won 8 free lessons, cant wait to start man!

camp was totally different than ADM one, and definitely worth it too...fresnosaurus wooo! ah best part was of course getting to noe more ppl outside adm..great to expan circle of frens :D

2 more weeks to uni. no time no time

-.-

2010-08-05T02:26:00.001+08:00

stuck in my memory

just posted a long post abt cca points on rirc blog. tired. -.-

rah!

2010-08-03T00:09:00.004+08:00

stuck in my memory

slowly falling sick, must be the durians that i ate, or lack of sleep

today shall sleep at 1am latest.

david: yea very long...9 yrs haha

shu ying: waaa okok will do so now haha

yuan hao: Yea!!! hahaha ur starting uni soon right?

rah blogging after blogging. raaah

grah...WATCHING INCEPTION TMR WOOOOOOO!!!!!!

feel like dancing bt my throat hurts and my body feels too weak to dance..hopefully can recover by wed...thursday conducting the dance practice.

fasting month next week..dance camp next week too, MOE teaching award ceremony next week three.

3 more weeks, before I stop my works with rirc. haiz. time flies..fly fly fly

plans

2010-07-29T01:11:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

gosh too many ppl to reply

Gabby: haha yeapyeap! Thanks!

Khairul: Lool i not even qualified trainer sey...who will wan learn from me and pay me lor

yu hui: hahaha yup yup!

Jason: haha to me the environment plays a big role too. like i hate gray walls and those colorful blank walls that u see in primary schools. i like big spaces like the NTU art school, and cool exterior designs like RI and NTU art school (again). so it kind affects me haha

Imbbalim: ya ur first time HI! WHERE GOT EMO

Hid: yesyes thats why sumtimes u jus wish u got a guide to take ur hand and bring u arnd hor...tsk

Sin: SIN is a strange word too

kin wai: harhar

david: YEA!!! hahaha wish RIRC camp can be as cool too :D and yes? my sis rox okay! haha

Jem: go see the blog la. LOL win XD

i got 1 more month to uni. leme see how i will spend my days.

today is the 29 of July

29 - dance movie

30 - tuition

31 - accred, dramafeste

1 aug - nothing

2 aug - training

3 aug - meeting

4 aug - outing, training

5/6 aug - rc

7 aug - slack?

8 aug - outing

9 aug - outing

10-13 - uni camp

14-29 aug- fasting month. and trainings and prepare for uni.

thats 2 weeks. yay

eurgh. i shall do an animation during this 1 month. or a film. i see how. bt mus do sumtin.

2010-07-26T00:41:00.000+08:00

stuck in my memory

kp dancing in my head. dadadadadadadadadadada

sense of achievement

2010-07-24T02:23:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

and at this moment
all i want to do
is to run away, and be told what to do. and dance.

the music was awesome just now..if only there were less people, and less food in my tummy, i wld haf battled it out wif him :)

and then i realised why it was so awkward throughout the period of time

did i feel like i shld be sumwhere else?

the whole warm fuzzy feeling was there in the past

now..it felt fake. forced. sumting..is going wrong..and i cant quite grasp that feeling.

hope tmr will be well. my fire's dwindling. for unknown reasons. transfering to another candle?

dat candle's still mine though..

??

2010-07-23T00:56:00.004+08:00

stuck in my memory

in times like this, i wish that there is sumone to tell me what to do.

having too much freedom really sux

funny..the fact that i have ppl guiding me bt i dun wan them to guide me coz i got my own ideals

and yet i need sumone to guide me..show me the way..enlighten me wif what to do wif my own ideas and ideals

haha..or shld i say, a listening ear and one who noes wad i want and guides me to what i want, without really bringing in his/her own points of views..or at least bring them in in the most subtle way

or i tink i jus need some sleep. hopefully the graduation show will enlighten me tmr

being the one leading all the time starting to make me feel weird.

do i miss being a student/ns? a little mebe?

ppl to tell us what to do. haha..cant believe i crave for that now. oh bt of course...parents are out of the picture lol. dats bad

mebe jus need sumone to tok to.

this aint an emo post btw. oo its 1am

haha

2010-07-22T02:41:00.003+08:00

stuck in my memory

prefect = PSL.

ahahaha....joke man.

well of course i cant deny that i may haf a biased view over things..of course i rmbrd being pissed off at the councillor = OGL thingy bt nvm

yea life being unfair and all that and ppl tinking that they're so much better than others jus becoz they have a certain position or they've been thru sum stuff that other ppl dun and so they feel they're far more superior and dun give a shit abt wtv that others have to say omfg i srsly fucking hate those ppl.

i tink i forgot to ask for feedback todae..i shall remind myself to do so next wk. or rather
later.

jus wanna do a big shout out

if life forbids u to do sumtin after uve done so much

than TAKE youR OWN STAND AND DO WAD U MUS DO MAN!!!

dun let society BOG YOU DOOOWN!!! why let society tell u wad to do when ur u and u got ur own dreams and aspirations! GO DO WADS RIGHT!!! (ya..wads right ..mus tink of big picture too) (applies to only sensible people) (define sensible...bleh)

gosh i mus kp reminding myself to do that

MOE teaching induction course

2010-07-20T17:51:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

haha jus realised that im a teaching award holder..not as big as teacher scholarship dude..
learnt a few things abt the changing environment and learning field in singapore..esp in the art sector in education
more professional art teachers needed in primary schls...

bt rili got me tinking abt wad id do in the future
shld i stay as a teacher 4eva
or shld i go over to RI
or shld i be rebellious and set up my own school?
or follow up the track to become principal

dang...suddenly i become so lost..gotta start planning
and jus heard this talk from a principal who started off as a normal teacher 20 yrs ago
all the changes that she did for her school..and now her schl is sum uber pro schl (pri school)
sets me tinking as to whther i wanna go to that level..lead a team of educators and 2000+ students

altho when i tink abt it...seeing an environment where u teach stuff like math and science..altho its cool but...4 walls...of beige wif structured buildings..it kinda creeps me..like..a jail..

and i got new opportunities sumwhere else...shh

and now on how toget money when in uni..i duwan give tuition...wan do sumtin else which is in that line of art or dance..but what

bleh really set me tinking abt my future..wad do i rili want

and wad the principal said at the end of the speech struck me...abt learning...for the students

that exams..shldn be the main reason why u study...i tink i became very result driven after a few months have passed...and it finally dawned to me that there are sum things where i rili jus gotta use my heart

personal development and character development cant be graded. it has to be felt and loved..i duno..bt now that i started tinking..i tink i have one more thing to do b4 i leave rirc....

Our Passion. Your Commitment. My Motivation

2010-07-20T17:45:00.004+08:00

stuck in my memory

oo a video i made for RCYRD VI promotion.

at first i wanted to do a video based on all those cool fast paced army commercials..make everyone look pro. then realised that my footages are pretty slow. and considering that i did not do any storyboarding b4 filming..was super lost when trying to put the footages together, esp when the song doesn match (transformers epic grand song). then toked to ambrose sir..and i totally did not expect the video to become a very personal from the heart different perspective nice gooey feeling type of video and rawr i did it!! oh yea music from B.O.B Nothing on you..i went to unichannel to see wad random songs i can find (coz i always get most inspiration for videos from songs) and i found the music uber fitting..and vuola!

Xiexie Khairul, Yu Ping, Hidayah, ULP ppl, CACRCYRD committee and of course main actors Royston and Daniela!

and most imptly AMBROSE SIR!!! for giving me the inspiration and the tagline when i was lost and it was 1 day to production. XDXD TANX SIR!!! U ROX!!!

Awesomeness

2010-07-19T02:04:00.008+08:00

stuck in my memory

big event over...few hiccups here and there..but personally thought that everyting was smooth and on time..super super big thank you to everyone manzzz!! raawr super super big tanx!!

waiting for the CACRCYRD team photo...rawr!!

and of course, awesomeness to the freshman orientation camp!!

tink wif fotos i can explain more:

my group: STARBURST!! taking foto wif another grp..gobstoppers if i not wrong. this was on 3rd day, where they gave us new Tshirts that says sumtin like "Boys and girls come paint us" or sumtin...and we played paint bomb. awesomely cool stuff!! cant find my tshirt..still washing..gonna wear my paddle pop tee arnd orchard one day

right that was me at the start of the camp. came late..thought they wld screw me or sumtin..(tanx to my training in RCY hahaha) then realised everyone was jus having fun and said hi and stuff..srsly super frenly ppl and of course super awesome OGLs (mentors) If RCY has to learn a thing or 2 about mentoring, LEARN From ADM! awesome simply awesome. they really care about every single individual in the team, know the term "family", takes initiative to make ppl talk, make the environment comfortable and frenly for everyone, approach every person to find out more abt them. play stupid games that involves everyone, never leave anyone out...gosh the lists goes on and on. i tink i shld make a video blog instead lor..feel like rambling and rambling..bt my voice sux hahaha

oh yea my OGLs, Farhana, Ryane and Shian. Farhana main OGL..super awesome crazy open gal..Ryane the crazy waga waga gal, and shian srsly reminds me of Eugene hohoho..gives stupid remarks in that im not joking voice..proactive and chiong wif us. not to forget his camera..keeps taking photos after photos. yea most photos here are taken by him. wooo!!

ah the rite of passage to become an ADMer! 1st day they blindfolded us and went arnd ADM play games while blindfolded..then brought us to the rooftop and i didn even noe wad was going on. then they pulled us out one by one go to sum place, told me sit down. and asked if i was ready. then i said ya ok and they splashed water that felt soapy..and told me lie down and WOOOOOO!! coz ADM rooftop is a slope down so...awesome sLiDE!!!!! (yay to the hairy legs lol) and they ended off wif "welcome to ADM" wwaaaaa awesome maaan!!

and the best part was they gave us a towel coz it was frkng cold..took the white towel wipe myself then i realised the towel had the crest of the camp engraved on it in gold..that was srsly epic!! nvr give us all the "goodies" at one go..bt gave them at the "right" moment..srsly epic! SALUTES to the organizers!

ah one of the best ice breaking games i've played! scissors paper stone to reach the other side, mus travel on chairs..and thats like the fountain area in the middle of our school..awesome wet stuff!!

human wheel chair centipede!! and my awesome OG woooo!!!!!!! everyone finished the race in 1 min 50 s + and our OG finished it in 58 seconds. WOOOOO awesome teamwork :D

2nd day was amazing race..and 1st station kana liao! "you are going to be trained to be circus actors, so u need to learn how to be sumone else. pick a card and be that character" and we got a bear. "now find the GRUMPY oLD MAN and buy from him face paints." best part is "wear that face paint throughout your journey"

waa attract attention sia.all the way from bugis to dhouby ghaut for the entire day!
ah and one of the stations was at sculpture square..make super huge paper cranes based on the number that we rolled on the dice. srsly all the games were awesome, and every station that we had to go to are all impt places that we gotta know when we go to ADM..simply a brilliant race...super inspired now!! no more boring aimless races frm now on :D

right that was so unintentional. my sister :D GO VERONicA (and shes attached la pls)

all had to learn mass dance..so i was jus having fun since its like frkng DANCE and WAAAA DAAAAANCE!!!!! song used was little freaks by usher..and choreography was awesome! considering that it was for a mass dance and its not so complicated but complex at the same time and COOl and Boom and Yooz kinda feel so YO man! right duno wad im toking abt rite now :D

aha..the most epic performance for bash nite (er sumtin like campfire..highlight of camp) every grp had to do a performance based on a video that they showed us on day 2..and ours was none other than Charlie the Unicorn from youtube. BIG LOL lor when i first saw it. i was tinking that we will get gaga music video or sumtin..and when i saw that familiar unicorn i went OmGWTF

woo performance was epic! combined that wif alice in wonderland and lady gaga and despicable me themes :D gaaagaaaaa and yes i was the one making sound effects as usual muahahaha FUN stuffs!!! oh if u wan see the performance can go my facebook :D

last day..OMG that GREEN hooDIE WAS TOTALLY UNEXPECTED!!! raaah LOVE IT SO MUCH!! dam nice color and the ADM words written on it is dam nice and its dam comfy and raahhh!!! SO loVING IT

and the rest of the photos..simply having fun. awesome awesome awesome!!!!!!! ARGHH

Just before the performance. GAGA GO!

end of camp. BEST OG YO!!! we got most enthu OG!!!! WOOOOOO!!!

starburst starburst starburst starburst oo lallaaaa!! aiyaiyaiyaiyaiyaiyaaaai!

i became a camwhore that night (bashnite) slpet at 5 coz everyone was like clubbing and drnking and our OG decided to run away from that place and enjoy ourselves at the auditorium coz not many of us likes clubbing
BRING IT ON!!!!! (see RIRC..i still rmbr uall when i was at camp lor :D )
Most epic photo!! super super nice colors!
2nd most epic photo! omg daaaaam styloooo!!!

photo taken when we did the mass dance after winning most enthu OG. ROXXOR!!! waa if only i took my specs out..confirm be my FB profile pic liao!

RAWR

more photos on my FB haha! SUPER ThANKS TO ADM ORGANiZING COMMITTEE of FOC and of course bELOVED STARBURST PPL!!!! WOOOOOOOoOOO cant wait for SCHOOL TO START!!!!!!!

ah and of course cac being over. that will be another post? but b4 that gotta thank ALL CACRCYRD FAMILY OMG A bIG THANK YOU TOOO!!! raaaah personally felt that the event was great, wif mini hiccups bt still was kaBOOM!! :D:D:D

Le Cirgue Spectaculair

2010-07-16T23:17:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

apart from Asean Jumbara, this camp was seriously freaking ownage!!!!! OWWWNAAAGEEE!!

omg i felt like im sumwhere in my world..like my world...the ART WORLD!!! RAHAHHHHHH

its like another RC family altogether..gosh raaah omg ok cant stop wowing

and of course the first time since a LONG TIME that i joined a camp as a participant...no worries abt timings and events and manpower and overshooting time and logistics and stuf..jus purely have fun and cherish every moment wif newfound friends wif OMG SRSLY COMMON inTerEST FTW raaaah

ok shit its jus too unexplainable, a huge family of ARTOMGISH peeps RAH

and of course, the camp was just purely awesome in terms of activities and games and storyline and gifts and freebies and ESPECIALLY the OGLS (mentors) win win win srsly win hands down RESPECT

ok i gotta prepare for tmr so will blog later.

tmr CAC..rah...frkng ...duno. feel ready bt well events dun usually run smoothly, and that makes it interesting eh. haha gd luck to me and us and everyonez! BIO!

PN

2010-07-12T02:30:00.001+08:00

stuck in my memory

PN was a blast. i wun blog abt it now. waiting for photos

rili tank kin wai for bringing our batch back. gosh was rili awesome :D

k. off to camp tmr. NTU ADM camp. wow...time flies

click click

2010-07-10T03:04:00.005+08:00

stuck in my memory

just cant get myself to sleep

6 hours time: sign my scholarship to officially seal my bond with MOE for 5 years after NTU

7 hours time: in RI preparing for performance night

12 hours time: still preparing. lol

16 hours time: the show begins.

oh i jus sighed

not sure wad to look for later

whenever i imagine sumtin will happen, sumtin else will happen instead

mabe im jus panicking considering that we are inviting quite a lot of guests for once

and VIs coming (pressure...bleh)

and for once i wasn't thoroughly following the planning process of PN

and for once im jus taking a back role and reminding the committee on wad to do

and i wasn there at their rehearsal

ok im panicking

and well i rly cant wait to see my batchmates again..its been 5 long yrs. rly many tanx to kin wai for calling every single one of them. my salutes to u man!!

right..maybe ill be feeling like this on 16 july too.

just received packlist for my orientation camp in adm too...sumhow looking forward to it and not looking forward to it..coz i has no idea wads gonna happen.

or mebe its coz of that reason too for later

i got no idea wads gonna happen for PN orientation and CAC. this is scary.

the fear of uncertainty. coz i always noe wads gonna happen (ooo now thats contradicting wad i said jus now) as in i always noe wads gonna happen coz i noe the plans or i planned for it.

now i didn and...urgh...keep feeling that its part of my responsibility if it screws up.

if it screws up. dats da word too.

gosh usually if i let everting out i will feel relaxed. now its GETTING ME MORE PRESSURISED ARGH

right i am not in school and yet i feel stressed. wtf

can hadi stop typing?

pls

oh ya i shall take photos later for once..be a camwhore lalala

no idea how im gonna handle the big bunch of ppl tmr

my batchmates, my juniors, my VI frens, my jumbara frens, my seniors (zaidi), teachers. o my tianz

or i mite jus fall sick and not come coz im slping so late

or no one will come and tok to me so i dun haf to worry at all actually

right

why do i call my blog strong memories

see

i cant stop pressing the enter button twice and typing sumore

there i did it again

yay

its fun

click clikc

clikc click

little pinkie clicking on the enter button

click click

its kind addictive

ok wtv buai

oh i click clicked again

wheee

fun

lol

i forgot to put a title for my blog entry

done

pretty

2010-07-07T01:22:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

lots of um...stuff still not thought off yet.

PN coming up and pretty worried considering emcee havn practice yet.

pretty disgusted at how the unit responded to CAC.

pretty excited at the upcoming freshman camp

pretty anxious of the event that im chairing. hope all goes well, keep feeling that something is missing. not that ive nvr been chairing events in my own school, but just for this one its a 2 events combined into 1 and basically we created a complicated competition which is good for everyone bt mindblowing and confusing for us. first time feeling the stress when planning an event..woooo! really hope that all goes well, and really wanna thank everyone who's in it!

pretty good wif progress of dance..haha cant wait for it actually, long time since we danced together :D too bad not the entire bious crew are dancing (stares and toad and lizard)

pretty tired over all the things that are not done. tmr will wake up early and focus on what needs to be done.

9 july

17 july

24 july

31 july

and reminders to be given for 10 july.

time flies pretty fast. cant bear to close this chapter.

so hard

2010-06-28T22:31:00.003+08:00

stuck in my memory

yea yea yea..so haard (cant imagine wei yang dancing to this :P )

on the way home, saw this smily face on the bus window sill...tsk tsk..cowards. if wanna vandalise public property, go draw big big on the window la. show wad kind of artist u are.

the dull SBS bus that i take everyday. sleep

oh wanna share this wif everyone

whee now i got 3 videos to edit..sian

ULP 2010

2010-06-27T23:15:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

being chief mentor aint easy. i dun jus haf mentees to take care of, but my mentors as well. everyone still green and all. trying rili hard to recall wad we did for the 4 days. haha camp report.

of course i wun be going thru everyting, no idea how i will write this entry anyway.

was looking at my old blog entries, and i saw this sentence i wrote. I was replying jeremy's tag abt the word ohana, and i told him hey thats nice, hmm i shall use it one day.

and here i did in ulp. Ahana Ohana. and fusing it with one thing i learnt from the big fat book of leadership: that leadership is a relationship.

its hard to balance between fun and discipline, and sometimes you will just be stuck, and not know what to do. you won't know whether to scold, or whether to just let go and give a small piece of advice or a mini reprimanding session. You will be pressured by status quo, your seniors, your friends, the status of your unit, your traditions and cultures, to do the "right" thing. What is the right thing anyway? How do you know if the action that you took is really right?

This is exactly where Ohana comes in. by treating them like a family, by wanting to understand them and wanting them to learn through the best possible experience, you will know what is right and what needs to be done. its really abt caring and pure sincerity. Its difficult of course, and only those who truly care for their people, and the organization that they are in, will be able to do it.

not any leader. only great leaders.

ooh..and i luv the VI performance. all of you rox man :D was walking to RC campsite and was listening to you belong with me, walk in the dark late at nite alone, then suddenly received the spark of inspiration .WOOOO hawai love story!

ah...brain not flowing. tmr tmr tmr morning

camps

2010-06-27T18:15:00.003+08:00

stuck in my memory

I think i owe 2 blog entries for 2 awesome camps that i went through. Will make an effort to blog everyday from now on, now that im about to enter uni, must record down them down. memories might be faked unless written black and white. but of course, does that ultimately break the beauty of the nature of memories?

Anyway, just came back from Asean Jumbara 2010, a camp where the youths of red cross from various asean countries come together to celebrate red cross together. My first exchange programme.

and my brother is shouting and shouting and my mum scolding him and i cant even concentrate on my blogging. haiz

ok finally. truly an eye opener, and it was definitely definitely worth going! Despite all the setbacks and unexpected turn of events, and the low parts (a lot of waiting time, not used to it), that experience can never ever be replaced anywhere.

Will blog about everything soon, coz my brother's whining is ruining my blogging mood. gosh whine whine whine....

oh well, hope memories will still be as fresh as ever. and specially to RIRC and RC, thank you so much for the opportunity given!! Ahh....:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

buh

2010-06-19T21:05:00.001+08:00

stuck in my memory

unicamps starting soon.
leaving like sum chunk of life behind and biting a new chunk ahead.

uh..tired for now. wanted to post jus now bt didn now coz no mood liao lala

6pak

2010-06-10T21:15:00.003+08:00

stuck in my memory

cant believe that 6pak is over. duno if im gonna be free to help plan next few camps, esp the next june one. bt if i were to be bz, then this camp will be the last i got myself involved wif.

rly cldn believe that rirc acherli had a hiking camp wif campsite as base, sumtin i wldn dream of when i was sec 1.

and LP had a totally different focus. bet if i told other batches wad happened to the sec 3s this yr, theyd prolly freak out and strangle me for being "frkn nice". of course, how dyu define nice, and where dyu draw the line bet nice and effective.

anw...on the 2nd nite, was having that nostalgia again. my 1st june camp as a vi was at campsite, wif royce muhd guo zhong and alvin, only 4 from the sec 4s. first time rirc had camp at the red cross campsite, wif new stuff like dragon boating and campfire, never done before thingies. and here i end, at the same place, wif a small number of sec 4s, and doing stuff nvr done before. cycling at ubin, ending a cbd hike at marina barrage wif good nasi briyani, and hike back to ri (and cheating wif MRT) wif all our luggage.

rili hope that the cadets enjoyed it. altho lot of stuff cld haf improved, like points, facilitation, activities etc. camp cld haf been better. bt sec 3s haf rili done their best. and truthfully, considering that it was a super hard one to plan and execute, the sec 3s haf definitely done well for their first attempt :D

5 yr period is over. (omg i will be in uni for 5 yrs..thats LONG) things haf changed towards a better unit. and things will continue to change, bt i rili hope that wad we've done thus far, will be beneficial in the time to come.

3 more months. PN. august. and im off.

been great 5 yrs of red revolution. :D

wake UP

2010-05-31T00:55:00.001+08:00

stuck in my memory

there are ppl who can say, u jus suck
bt mebe coz they're jealous
or mebe coz they wan u to feel down
or mebe coz they were rili being truthful to u and u do suck

u can choose to say yea i suck
coz u rili do suck or coz u were so influenced by wad other ppl tink of u, even when u dun
or u can choose to say no i dun suck
coz u rili dun, or coz u dun wanna believe it and wanna continue to be deluded by illusion

there are ppl who can say that u cant make it in this world
there are ppl who mite be better than u
there will always be ppl who haf negative things to say abt sumting

Even tho Abraham Lincoln was a truly great man, there're ppl who hate him
Even tho Mohandas Ghandi was a man of deeds, there're ppl who were skepticle of him
Even tho some of us believe that God is great, there are people who don't
Even though it is so freaking obvious that north is "that way", there will be idiots that say "no its that way!" and when they realise they were wrong they'll say "Well not my fault, the map was wrong the compass spoilt i was taught to see the sun that way this way"

srsly guys and girls when it comes to whether u can make it in life or not, does wad other ppl say rili plays apart? srsly, WHO GIVES A FUCK WAD THEY SAY?!

WHO
GIVES
A
DAMN!!!!

Its all abt the action that u take. wad YOU BELIEVE IN

u can be deluded. u can be real. bt it doesn matter coz when u done it, then ppl will start staring at u and say ooooookay so ur right after all

WAKE UP PPL! (saying to myself oso)

2010-05-29T00:18:00.000+08:00

stuck in my memory

I LIKE DAT

Wishlist

2010-05-25T23:29:00.004+08:00

stuck in my memory

Its time for me to create a wishlist. sumtin ive nvr done b4 in my life.

- go overseas to see the plains and mountains and rams. i wanna see a ram in the plains, not in a mosque (lol i always see them getting chopped on Hari Raya Haji
- A new Macbook. 17 inch wif 2G ram is enuff.
- grandma to get well
- to be happy inside
- fun life in uni..last days of school
- organize a performance wif all my frens. best if it becomes an rcy event. charity show.
- be part of a dance performance in a big theatre. wif my family watching :P
- the kids i tutor to get really good grades
- stop being dependent on my close frens
- make dance part of my life
- make srcy be the cca of choice nationwide. its a dream that i will chase. and if i succeed, it will be the greatest thing i've ever done and i'll be really happy XD
- create a short film/series/animation that impact many viewers in the way they think about the world
- spread the skills i meekly have to many ppl
- breakthrough hollywood movies in singapore. oh man i really wanna do that since i started learning film making.
- seeing ppl grow and be happy abt themselves

wow. its a long wishlist. well, dunno how i can do this. bt its a start i guess.

pls dun wonder why "get a gf" is not in the wishlist. I prefer letting nature take its course :D and yes i still like girls ktanxbye

oh, my ultimate wishlist:

50 yrs down the road.
50+ years of alumni will still gather at RIRC, for PN and POP. and RIRC truly becomes a cca with a strong alumni, strong capabilities, and produce strong people, to serve the community together. the fiery passion of the phoenix never fades away.

hopefully blogger is still arnd 50 yrs later and i can read it when im 71 saying "ahh..and it does came true afterall" :)

backa

2010-05-19T23:18:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

back to normal life.
2 more weeks of normal life.
hopefully no extra work in june and i can safely zhao frm the company in peace
then can focus more on rc...bleh tuition is taking too many days of my week. brah

sick

2010-05-14T01:38:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

falling sick falling sick bt luckily at 1145 i pushed myself to do sum work. n i regret doing that
coz now im in a WORKING SPRee noooOOOOOOOOoooOOOooOOOoOOOooooooOOOo

rah..icant believe i cleard so many emails and little tinee winee works here and there for 1.5 hrs

and now i feel so OMG NOW I WAN FINISH TAT YELLOW FAT BOOK

rah. rah rah rah hyper at the wrong time...

wads tmr's schedule. er
NTU medical check up
send scholarship form to MOE at buona vista
dance in school wif deo
go to buona vista again for bdae celebration -.-
go doby ghaut for meeting.
go home and slp

tmr mus bring $25 for check up, $8 for lunch and dinner, $2 for mosque, $10 for CCAB couse, $6 for bdae.

$51 spent in 1 day. NO!

Saturday - MOE CCAB.
Sunday - tuition, Linka @ RP
Monday - Meeting, lesson
Tue- SLACK IN MORNING YO!, meeting

rah

yay

2010-05-12T15:24:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

it took me...4 days. to recover. and todae..i recovered..finally

thanks to a video i saw yest
the death of my granduncle yest (reminded me..time waits for no one. and im here for god)
and the 2 hour long bus ride that i took from boonlay to sengkang (157, 156. cld haf taken MRT bt i needed the time to sit down, watch the world pass by the window and reflect)

oh and if u ask why i was at boon lay, coz i was wif the party who buried my uncle at lim chu kang area (may peace be upon him)

finally realised why i was so inactive the past few days. and for the past yrs. coz im the type who..."enjoys" the feeling of being appreciated, bt yet i dun wan to tell ppl that at various points of time (i jus told the whole world. LOL. bt no matter, not gonna affect me anymore)

been helping, always expecting sumtin but dun wan to tell, and when i dun receive it ill jus keep quiet and pretend nothing happened and remind myself to expect no return when u help voluntarily (see humans are selfish. therefore im human. yay)

then i realised that it has been going on and on..till i cant take it anymore. bt instead of blasting, i blast inwards. dun wanna affect other ppl.

and i oso realsed (finally) that i tend to be closer wif those who appreciates wad i do for them (and no its not the usual hey thanks! hey heres a gift to thank you.) for sum weird reason, the way they show appreciation, is jus totally unexpected. sumtin i nvr expect them to do. i guess thats when i wanna help them coz i rili wanna help them. and here they come appreciating wad i did out of the blue and ill be caught off guard and...i start appreciating them back.

and things go wrong.

coz id expect continuous appreciation since im appreciating them back bt yet there is no need for them to show me appreciation so wad for show it anw...and even if they did, i wun accept it unless it has the same appreciation level as when the first time i received it or if its sumtin that id want (and of course i wun tell them coz if i do then its not sincere and i dun accept "insincere" appreciation)

that was frkng long. bt i finally noticed.

and so finally, when i got down the bus. i wanna say this to the whole world

dear all,

if i ever go to an emo mode again, please remind me the purpose of my life: to serve god and make ppl smile for good reasons. I tend to forget :P

i rmbr i vowed to live by that b4..bt i guess after years have passed i forgot once again. so here i am once again. lala..and pls remind me. i need reminders sadly. i tink i shall put it on my blog name. changing skin soon..this skin is 5 mths old. rawr

dear hadi

2010-05-11T23:31:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

dear hadi,

please endure for 2 more days. then everything. will. be. fine. smiley face.

yours truly,

rio

how ppl treat frens

2010-05-11T22:38:00.004+08:00

stuck in my memory

todae at the airport, i was sending joel off wif xin yan and shu qiao, coz he's going off for Hillary Challenge in New Zealand, representing singapore. and i noticed sumting about people.

wad do you do when ur sending sumone off? 2 hours before departure, and u haf 2 hours to spend time wif him/her before he/she takes off?

i see frens crowding arnd those leaving, talking happy things, laughing, looking at air tickets and joking around

i see frens approaching those leaving, saying good job take care, take pictures, spam pictures, enjoying their last moments together

i see parents spending time wif their children who are leaving, proud that their children are doing sumtin great, sumtin to be proud off

i see frens standing arnd toking to each other (not those leaving) and chatting, probably a great time to catch up wif each other

i see frens giving gifts and last min thanks and good lucks to those who are leaving

i see frens waving goodbye to those who are leaving, even to the glass door

basically, i see frens making full use of their last moments wif their frens before they leave.

now the big question is. wdv that i mentioned above..are they normal to you? would u have done the same?

its funny how i didn.

toked more wif those who are not leaving.

did not have a need to take photos wif those who are leaving

did not approach those who are leaving to say good luck

did not spend time wif those wh oare leaving

did not give gifts and last min thanks to those who are leaving

stood aside and tok to those who are not leaving

watched those who are leaving without waving.

and so on my way home, i wondered why.

u might think that thtats pretty..abnormal. who wld do such a thing to a fren?

so here comes to the point where i finally made comparisons between myself, and the ppl arnd me, and how ppl treat frens.

*wtv thats stated below is my own self reflection. this is my blog wad. not to boast. bt to keep myself in check XD*

well, i tend to like being the one at the side.
the one who watch my frens succeed
the one to help my frens succeed
and dun take any credit at all
seeing them being happy makes me happy
and just now, the fren who's leaving had his class join him as well
since the 3 of us had already accompanied him to the airport and talked, mite as well let him spend time wif his class. not like we will never spend time wif each other anymore
so stay at the side
let our frens be happy wif their successes
its their moment
dun be in their way
dun need to say hey come back wif us and tok to us
let them do wad they wish
let them smile

funny how i nvr tot of taking photos, to take down of all the memories
prolly any sane person will ask 'why the heck didn u take photos? for memories wad'

i dun see a need? or..id rather not do it unless they initiate
guess its part and parcel of life huh...or rather, thats how i see life.

to see ppl saying byes and gl so openly
not sumtin i wld do...bt id definitely do it behind everyone. an sms. an email. call. or sumtin done before the big day. and i wonder why i prefer doing it privately.

watching them go
everyone waving byebye
n here i am jus watching

well, these things. happened many times. not just todae. bt at various awards ceremony. passing out ceremony. graduating ceremonies. seeing ppl become great ppl. seeing ppl achieving sumting. and me helping them along the way, feeling great that they've done sumtin useful in their lives. and nvr feeling great coz i helped them in sum way.

and jus watching as they pass by, engulfing the future ahead of them, as i stay to take on new people.

will that be the life of a teacher?

----

of course, i feel sad. that i cant share the joy wif them. that i choose my frens over myself all the time. others over self. and then i start wishing that theyd do the same for me..which is so selfish. then i find myself slapping myself coz when i help i shldn be expecting help back. haiz.

wish i think more like other ppl. be a normal person. and not..be at the side. choose to be at the side. choose to be at the side.....and then regret. and then slap myself for not living up to my values(that as long as he/she is happy, im happy)

to solve this. all i need is discipline.

shall stop tinking.

-----

when ur not training, sumone else is. and when u meet him, u will lose.

6 things to remember in school

2010-05-11T14:36:00.005+08:00

stuck in my memory

i rili wish i had seen this back then in secondary school. no matter, gonna start frm now, while im still not officially in the working world. 2015. 5 yrs left

To all of you, do take a 10 min break and watch this. it's rili, rili, rili awesome stuff!! Applies to all students, not just those learning music.

blank

2010-05-11T14:07:00.004+08:00

stuck in my memory

wasted 2 days. i shldn haf wasted 2 days. 2 days raaaahhhhh

3 more days for choreography. 2 more emails to send out. crazily packed evenings.

collect paycheck on 13 may. stop working by 12 June.

collect paycheck after that. rah. sending joel n ziqi for NZ later.

attempts to do sumtin.

BIG WAIT

2010-05-09T23:27:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

yu hui: yea haha waiting for uall la
jason: BORED
david: well david, these ppl need motivation to cont their voluntary work. of course if u go help sumone everyday and see him smile, of course u will continue to be motivated. bt when ur doing admin work and stuff for prolong periods of time and dun reap "non monetary" benefits, things might get messy. oh wells. and i start asking myself such qns coz im bored too. haha
daniel: LOL JELLYFISH!

dance night, awesome performances by all. and congrats clive and joel!!! hahaha and to tink it all started from arts festival, and dance became our passion :D

bleh..bt when i went there...srsly brought back lots of mini regrets. like choosing rc over dance. i cld have been there few yrs back, dancing. bt well...i guess theres always another chance later in life.

rili wanna get an instructor to teach me..and stop being the leader for once. be the one learning. being the one teaching all the time isnt that great when u feel that havn learn enuff. not pro. haiz. tsk

tmr class cancelled again..so i have 5 days of no work. apart from tuition for 3 nites and HQ meetings for 2 nites..that takes up all 5 days. wah. bz. then sat at CCAB. sunday. shrugs? monday, in schl. rc. finally!

BIG SMILE

yawn

2010-05-07T23:01:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

Tags:

Jason: YA 13 May foooooooo

David: Yes that guy deserves my language. anw, RC get donations from govt and people too. So thats where the full time workers get their pay. But its very low. they dun mind tho, coz they truly believe in the voluntary work that they're doing :)

Haha and my playlist, i only added 1 song lol

bored.

phew

2010-05-06T18:54:00.001+08:00

stuck in my memory

k i kinda cooled down

to all, thank you very very much for ur concern :D:D:D

ah..basically..if u wanna noe wad happen u can approach me personally. i cant flare arnd abt the issue online...mite get sued haha!

bt all is well now. thanx thanx thanx!!!!!!

to daniel: well its worth it. bt well sumtimes i jus get jealous at how ppl are getting wad they wan for their personal needs, and i cant get wad i wan to do service for the community in my own way. (eg. getting a mac. i need money to get a mac. i need to work to get money. im not working 8-5 coz i wanna focus on RC while i can before my bz uni days. its the only time in my lifetime that i get 8 months of freedom. buh. then again. freedom. i chose the volunteer path. bt then i sumtimes regret that i shld have chosen the other.)

ah well. its 1 more week of waiting. and then i go full blast once again till 17 July. cmon....quickly get past frkng 13 may!

rawr

fuck

2010-05-05T15:06:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

fuck that idiot.

may he/she rot to hell. may his/her days in his/her life be the worst that he/she has ever felt.

may his legs be amputated due to maggots. may she be raped. may his eyes be plucked out by forceps. may her tongue be sliced due to her insensitivity and her fucking unreasonable mind.

bastard
whore.
fucker.

MAY YOU GET FUCKED YOU ASSHOLE

- as much as I need to uphold my sense of responsibility as a senior and be a role model to those that I lead, I am still a meager human being and have feelings as well. and when I am pushed beyond my limit, I will explode just like any other normal human being. Therefore, I am sorry if I have disheartend any readers or juniors or seniors, but at this juncture, I. am. furious.

And for those who really know me, i don't get furious over futile matters.

let me finish this off wif

FUCK YOU FUCKER

Spirit

2010-05-04T01:59:00.001+08:00

stuck in my memory

The spirit of volunteerism.

worth it?

ooooooh

2010-04-29T23:43:00.004+08:00

stuck in my memory

came for NS sharing today,

quite okay, got zijie and surya's class, combined session. cant believe i spent 3 hours on my slideshows. drew my own NS characters. slept at 4am. woke up at 6. tired ttm. at least the class enjoyed it, same goes for the teachers. the female teacher was super super nice. and i saw ms Uma, my former GP teacher. wooo such a nice person

"hi ms uma"
"hadi you've already graduated, u can call me wad u used to call me behind my back, uma uma" (ok thats true...)

damn and i saw the teachers lounge in RJ. it is SICK! AWESOME! cant say anyting more. its AWESOME. saw all the A level art works around the school too wooots!

"i will nvr regret being a teacher"

misses RJ milo

and finally met my super good fren Muhammad, once close working partner. RIRC vice chair, b54.
awesome chat, relieving past memories
and of course found out more stuff about my closest friends

-----

which made me think abt the life of singaporeans here
are we living in a world where jokes are not a norm?
small jokes that people make will be seen as a form of irritation

"irritating. stupid people. make jokes over small things. no life. lame. wtv. go do ur work la."

try making a stupid joke in front of singaporeans. they'll look at u as if ur sum retarded fool wif no life

its like all of us are living in this mundane world, trying to do our work, get our work done, move on to the next, no life. must survive. cannot die. no time for fun.

be crazy and lively and happy all the time and singaporeans will tink ur slacking. or a complete retard. singaporeans are serious workers ooooh..then when its time to play they play hard ooooh...play mus set time oooh...play and work cannot mix ooooh

"Must know when to have fun and when to be serious" - i hear this everytime and i hear it coming out of my mouth. well it applies when u gotta get sum stuff done

but sumtimes, does this statement really work? like..shld there rili be a distinction btween work and fun? why cant we have both? are singaporeans too task oriented to the point where little kids mus be taught of such statements in order to train them to be like us: working robots?

John, work now. play later. work is work. must be serious. must focus. cannot play.
now u play
now u work
now u eat lunch
now u work again
now u play
now u do ur homework
now u play a bit
now u slp

homework not fun (ya homework not fun coz of the way teachers put across the meaning and value of homework, but thats another topic altogether)? parents cant make work fun? must we set aside time for "play"? does play not teach you anything?

STOP PLAYING DOTA AGAIN!
MUM I NEED TO RELAX.* i work already for 2 hours*
U PLAY DOTA LEARN WAD? U WAN TO be SUm ElF iS IT? THiS WORLD GOT MONSTER AH*
MUUUUM
OFF NOW

There... the 3 * make it super clear already. now even children have that mentality of work is work, play is play. it cannot be mixed. as for the mum, the all known misconception that comp games are worthless and only provide entertainment value.

Work VS Play. why the heck mus there be a VS?

...

-----

to those who had a mini misconception of my previous post, let me explain. I was NOT emoing!
i was merely commenting on wtv thoughts that was fresh in my mind..my reflections. thats all!!!!! rah!

shao: wooo hi 5! yea i noe that no worries! tanx dude!

david: yea well bt its better to run away from reality once in a while the legal way (which is thru dance) than using drugs right?
haha and tanx for sharing dude! omg same type of mum haha!

Yu hui: Yea dancing is safe. Drugs isn't. Say no to drugs or DOPING

Fadh: OMG serious? mebe passerby's are always envious. coz humans are always envious of wad they dun haf and never treausre wad they have till they loose it haha!

Jason: yea i use dance to express wads happening too :D

David: hahaha thats in my mind now XD

amazingly beautiful

2010-04-27T15:16:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

yar its amazingly beautiful how the human mind works
always not satisfied wif wad he has
always envies wad other people have

i cant believe that im always comparing my family wif other families
i rili wanna be close wif my family bt theres too many barriers to make
most are psychological and those are obviously the hardest to break
all started from the sec 2-3 period
or did they?
i dunno..bt that was a long time ago
and i only start to feel such stuff when im not immersed with work
perhaps thats why i wan to be crammed wif work
coz by making myself bz, im running away from reality, the fact that i'm a person who doesn want to be alone by my supposedly closest people? or kp myself bz by going out wif frens and stuff
coz im trying to run away from home

i see so many people loving their families so much
nice home, nice environment, family members
when i mean nice, as in ..rili nice..i cant explain that word nice
bt i guess its like a comforting feeling where when ur abt to go home, ull feel warm inside
yet i dun feel it

the big question is, who shld i blame? how to prevent this frm happening to my family in the future? how to spread the word to prevent such things frm happening to other families?

bah..so many questions

i see ppl saying i look up to my mum, my dad, my bro, my sis. who do i look up to? grah thats another topic to ponder

time for a change in blogskin. and the other skin. and for me to get back to work.

ah and yes, dance lets me run away. plays too. not to mention art, performances, shows...etc. maybe thats why i luv art so much.

a platform to run away from reality.

------

choices

2010-04-16T15:10:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

this post is dedicated for sumone who reads my blog. guess by the end of the post, you'll know who i'm referring to. :)

ask urself the following questions. and dont go to the next question till you have written an answer down on a piece of paper. yes, write them down on a piece of paper.:

1. do people control ur life?

2. should anyone control ur life?

3. do you have control over ur life?

4. do you know wad u enjoy doing the most?

5. do you know wad kind of person u wanna be in 5-10 yrs time?

6. do you know wad areas u are rili good at that will help u be the person u wanna be in qn 5?

7. do you know the areas where u need improvement to help u be the person u wanna be in qn 5?

8. are there people/places which can assist u to realise this dream?

9. are u reluctant to find them to help them change u?

10. are u even ready for the change? how long more will u wanna wait?

11. does it really matter if ppl say u can't be that person u dream to be in qn 5?

12. does it matter? does anything matter, when all it takes is for you to believe in urself to be the person u wanna be? to pursue the dreams u wanna reach? so wad if ppl say u cant do it? or u fail? or ur jus not good enuff?

who determines ur fate and life? these "friends? these people who look down on you? these harsh words that jus ruin ur day?
or is it yourself? and God (for the believers)?

u noe, people always say that there are ppl who dun believe in them. and they bring them down. lower their confidence and motivation to realise their dream.

but there are only a few who says that there are ppl who do believe in them, believe that they can do anyting, and will support them no matter wad.

which bothers me in a sense. heh. why do ppl always tok abt their "negative frens". when u got plenty of ppl who support u all the time?

why are ppl affected by the negative comments by frens, and not the positive ones by their love ones?

think abt it my fren :)

and u shld be able to choose wad u wanna do after ur secondary school life. cheers!

teaching

2010-04-15T21:35:00.002+08:00

stuck in my memory

1 thing to say
when u teach
the students need to be ready to learn
before u can teach them
so u need to break the ice, engage them, get them to recall their constructed knowledge, contextual knowledge, and put these skills to the test
and when they cant solve it
and they get confused
and they wanna solve it
thats when they are ready to learn.

and when u teach
u dun give facts just like that
u raise questions
u guide them to the right way
let them go astray to explore, and slowly show them the way back to the path
only when they start answering the questions they ask themselves
thats when the learning process truly begins
they gotta reason for themselves
they gotta wan the reasons for themselves
they gotta see why they need to learn the thing that they're learning
then they will truly rmbr everything

u cant jus give facts
and let them memorize.
thats old school
and wad r u producing?
robots who churn out everything that they "learnt"
not thinking and reasoning scholars.

----

inspiring. ah wish i can find more of such books
the teachers here rili need to read such stuff :)

-------

read book
felt inspired

got on bus and realised that my card expired todae
.......WTF

late for lesson by 15 mins tanx to the card, and the fact that when u buy a standard ticket, max change is $4 and i put in $10 for a $2.20 tix

...
...
...WTFWTFWTF

rain after lesson. had to walk back in rain
felt siaaaaan

wanted to cut hair
queue long. and coz i only had 7 bucks. then go refund my expired card. and chyena lady say: u come back on twenty turd apreel. mus wait 10 days.
so no money to cut hair
felt RAWR

RAWR
RAWR
TMR EMCEE
DIE

my boring life

2010-04-14T02:03:00.003+08:00

stuck in my memory

joels sms
felt like an idiot

msn clive
felt like wanting to laugh. inspirational

msn wif jason martin jem yada
felt accomplished

msn john
felt inspired

meeting
felt accomplished

tuition a p3 for the first time
felt lost? coz srsly the boy is smart, go tuition for wad...feels like doing more cool things that will make him think deeper abt science and math.

saw tagboard
understood stuff and will arises to take action

uploading videos
felt bored. so long!

blogging at 2:06am
i failed. wanted to slp at 12. woops.

woke up at 12pm yestd
zomg. fail. sorry chien cham hahaha looks like it was a good idea to go gyming yestd..screw

bleh

2010-04-11T00:47:00.001+08:00

stuck in my memory

ladies and gentleman
3am slp for the past 2 days
and i finally got a good book to read and i wanna read it

life is great
life rox
blablabla

bunnies gave burf to 4 small puny little bunny wunnieswoooo

sumhow, got nothing to blog

all my anger and woes and stuff are already vented and ranted to sumone
so far no problems
jus time and time and time

hmm oh well

nomnom

2010-03-26T23:51:00.003+08:00

stuck in my memory

erm i got nothing to blog for now
apart from saying that
i need to spend less money on clothes and more money on food
although the last shirt i bought was...when i went bugis...and that was before training..and that was january.
the next shirt i bought was..today..oh it was a long sleevie hoodie thingy
and then finally indulged myself wif $20 worth of swensens..first time i rili enjoyed myself wif food haha...and looks like i noe how to tempt zaidi already...foooood zaidi..fooood is gooooood

past week has been hectic
down wif illness
work after work nonstop
camps
competition trainings
dance
grandfather passed away
tuition to cover
RC to settle
yea its been really hectic, thus my disappearance here.

but i guess today was kinda like a break...wish there was more

next wk monday is the last day im teaching in RI..so after that i get to slp late and do work in the mornings and early afternoons once more..whether that is good or bad..i think its good. in a sense that i get more time for myself and do work at my own pace. bad side, i guess i will miss all the sec 1s that i taught, and all the photoshop stuffies that we did...fun times

really reinforced my passion for teaching...lets do this!!! go NTU!!!

need to reorganize my thoughts and things to do list, so that i can really start tackling them one by one, once this saga is over.

thank you sooo much for helping me clarifying!!! sooo confused lor...esp to clives mum wahahaha!

ok great feeel rili happy! now time to go go go!!

tags:
Sorry for not replying!!! the past weeks have been just..crazy. really crazy crazzyy

to all who replied to my fail blog post..haha thanks so much!!
lalala: i guess u can say that in RI culture..its nothing but the best. reminds u of students who say they fail to get full marks when they get 99%. :)
David: yea 5 years haha..thanx!!
jem and jason: lool here it is hahaha
Yuan Hao: Majoring in Fine Art: Animation. MOE scholarship pays for my tuition fees haha :D